Nice isn’t the nice word we were brought up to believe it is. Nice has developed over the years, at least in my mind, into an insult on par with being called a pitiful low-life chump. If you want to hurt my pride and wreck my self-confidence all you have to do is say, “What a nice guy you are.” Aside from the fact that this phrase permanently friend zones a hopeful young man courting a lovely lass, a nice guy is simply a person the so-called complimenter judges as having no discernable virtues other than a kind of generic bland niceness, or Vanilla Nice if you will. So please, don’t do that – to anybody, but especially to me. If a gentleman is handsome, smart, strong, etc. then he’ll be described as either handsome, smart, or strong by those who know him. But in a situation where an average guy with not a lot going for him is described with the sentiment, “Oh, well… he’s kinda nice and all.” Yeah, that’s the kiss of death for your ego right there. Buh-bye.

In a theological sense, Vanilla Nice is even more pernicious. I’m not being hyperbolic; It is a parasitic ideology disguised cleverly in a Christian skinsuit with the doctrinal label, love thy neighbor tattooed all over. Before your eyes roll all the way around your head please let me state my case. Nice is not – I repeat – is NOT synonymous with kindness. Kindness is a Christian virtue. In fact, it is a fruit of the Spirit. Find nice mentioned as a moral or ethical virtue in the Bible – I dare you. It’s not there; Not even in the HDPV – Hippy-Dippy Progressive Version. You might approximate niceness with smooth things in Isaiah 30:10 but even then, smooth things are not cast in a positive light. Unless you think prophesying illusions is ethical conduct. You may ask, “If these words aren’t interchangeable, then what makes them differ?” Let me explain. Nice is what you are to people when you want them to like, respect, or favor you in some way that will benefit your own ego or social standing. Heck, Nice is the middle name for almost every sociopath you meet. Vanilla Nice is self-interested by nature. It is a selfish, narcissistic impulse that utilizes flattery, good manners, charm, and eloquent speech, to gain the favor of individuals, groups, or voting blocks, to receive some societal, personal, professional, or ego-centric benefit.

Kindness, on the other hand, has keenly in mind the needs of others. Kindness seeks the welfare of your neighbor, the highest possible good for their physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. Kindness is rooted in truth. The consistent application of both law and gospel is showing kindness to our neighbors. Demonstrating that all sinners stand condemned before a righteous and holy God isn’t nice in the modern application of the term, but it is most certainly an act of kindness. It may make some angry, others sad, and yet others indifferent, but it is always compassionate to let your neighbor know he is about to walk right into the fire. Kindness is telling your neighbor to flee the wrath to come. It might be uncomfortable. The conversation might lean awkward, the silence may become deafening, and the tension may thicken like a rolling fog, but you can walk away knowing you have fulfilled the law and shown kindness in the most sincere manner possible. You may not gain social clout. You might be called a wet blanket and be disinvited from socialite hobnob functions but kindness cares not a whittle about such things. It is others minded, which is humility. Vanilla Nice is just too vanilla, too bland, too self-seeking to handle authentic biblical kindness. The imp of Vanilla Nice will not allow you to warn others of God’s judgment on sin and wrath toward sinners. It risks the friendships that provide you with benefits. Their eternal welfare is secondary to your status among peers, it risks the treasury of merits you have accumulated for yourself in the form of social capital.

This is not the ethic of the Christian committed to the way of Christ. Proverbs 27:6 says “faithful are the wounds of a friend.” What this means to me as your friend is, “Demonstrate your love for me, pierce my soul with truth that I may live!” It is not easy to forsake community for consecration. The path can be lonely. Scorn and vitriol will be flung at you from many directions. But let your heart be comforted in the knowledge that you have overcome the sinister subversion of Vanilla Nice, and have crossed the threshold into true biblical kindness. This fruit of the Spirit will bear fruit of its own – for fruit always reproduces after its own kind. You will find companions on the path to your celestial home. Some of them will be grateful brethren, who benefitted from the wounds of your kindness. So don’t be nice. Nice is not a virtue. Nice is not the standard for Christian behavior. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Eph 4:32)